Deserving

Here I am as I continue on the path of creating art in the midst of finding self. Hard job with tougher dreams. Lately, I have been entangled in unseeming bickers about a range expanding from generosity to sincerity, gratefulness or empowerment, gestures deserving or not. I must admit my spirit is exhausted. Have you ever felt like being understood by a single soul can sometimes be more powerful than being heard by all? There is nothing worse than your voice being equated to air noise. I always thought that words are a powerful thing, that its weight can affect emotions even lives hence I strive to listen when spoken to. But, I do understand when there are times to tune out, when what is being communicated only results to more conflict. At what point do we decide when someone is truly deserving of an audience? And to what extent do we exercise patience if only to arrive with the gift of making someone feel like they are heard? (For truly, to listen is a sacrifice we generously afford to others)

I ache for I pause to listen and I strive to understand yet I cannot comprehend. And I suffer because I attempt to speak but my words fall on deaf ears. Harsh tones make matters worst for it drives hard the point but takes aim at one's heart. And we know this.. once the heart aches, the mind breaks, and what is being communicated becomes even harder to decipher more than ever. Then, this pace accelerates, volleying point after point, now you start talking over each other. And NOTHING is achieved for every step taken in this path descends into more confusion. You find yourself on the landing with nothing but a battered heart, an exhausted mind, and a hurt soul. And, you haven't even swayed anyone's opinion even if it is justifiable. Cruel. Waste.

We communicate to receive knowledge. If you want the answers then you must afford that person an ear. It is the cost of your education. Unless of course, its just a speech exercise in which case, you deserve the high blood pressure and the sore jaw.

I'm alive

Sorry for the 2 month silence. I have been very busy attending to my fashion line, da.u.de . I was away sourcing materials in Morocco. I will keep you posted on the developments of my collection.

I do admit, I have been short on attending to my music. This adds to the delay of the completion of my album. But that's alright. Slowly but surely. I just posted a piano version of one of the songs. I hope you enjoy it.

Replay

Sing this to me again..

Be All Truth - Jesse Boykins III

Life truly is...

Occassionally, I find something that proves the real thing... that amidst all the BULLSHIT we go through in this world, LIFE REALLY IS A GIFT. This video reminds me how miniscule things are and how I truly am just a piece of a larger, more beautiful picture. Kuroshio sea.. I will drop by next year... promise.

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!

I've been advising people that when a man says something, it means exactly what those words are. No hidden meanings, no suggestive statements, nothing. It is exactly what those words are. But, I do understand why women tend to ask a bit more. For example, if your partner tells you that your opinion on matters is of no concern to him/her or that your feelings are not important then it is exactly what is being said. I do understand why one might want to stretch that statement out a bit and rationalize by making excuses like.. maybe it means they do care in general but that particular topic isn't important.. or more like.. they are confident on their position and therefore doesn't warrant further discussions on what you care to think, etc. Whatever the case may be, they are still excuses. Bottom line is, even the most distant friend, if he/she is really your friend then that person will care about your feelings, will care about your opinion. And if it is your partner, not only would he/she care, they'd even go out of their way to show concern for you. It's human nature. So if you listen closely to the words being chosen and you pay attention to the behavior, then you really will understand the words that are coming out of their mouths. So stop asking yourself, and stop making excuses. It is as it is presented. It is when you start justifying their actions when you start getting into trouble. Do not play the fool to get wise. You already are wise. Just execute.